My Charge to the Christmas Troops

I'm in El Paso, Texas right now in the final week of rehearsals for a Christmas Worship Production.  We had a massive and draining rehearsal Sunday night, and yesterday morning the following was God's word to me.  I'm passing it on to the team here, and to anyone out there who is in the stresstastic throes of Christmas rehearsals.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

John 6:28-29 “What can we do perform the works of God?” they asked. Jesus replied, “This is the work of God – that you believe in the One He has sent.”
What do we do to perform the works of God?

It is not that we put on a brilliant production.

Not that we write great songs or scripts. Not that we play our instruments or sing our hearts out to perfection.

Not that we invite enough people to the show.

Not that we look right, or speak right, or pray right.

Our work is to BELIEVE in the ONE He has sent.

Christ in us, the Hope of Glory.

He will be glorified in our imperfections. And every single moment is a chance to worship Him. We are not preparing to worship Him this weekend.  We are worshiping Him NOW.

As we forgive each other and encourage each other in love, we show Him.  As we rehearse diligently without complaining or arguing, we shine for Him. As we pause in amazement at the works of His hands and remember with gratitude how He has arranged our lives to bring us to this place at this moment for this production, we honor Him.  As we give thanks for the breath to sing and the ears to hear and the hands to play and the minds to work, and most of all as we meditate on the Infinite Mercy that allows each of us to stand in His presence, we realize that all we are here for is to offer back to Him what He Himself provided.  We are here to do His work and His work is for us to believe in the One He has sent.  Jesus is the only reason we can offer anything unto God.  It is not that our musical excellence lifts Him up. He doesn’t NEED to be lifted up – He’s already there! His perfection is what lifts us up and makes us able to joyfully point to Him. “Look up and see! Behold His Glory!!”

“For this is the will of My Father: that everyone who sees the Son and believes in Him may have eternal life and I will raise him up on the last day.”

Yes. We should bring Him our best. But not with the pressuring self-consciousness that comes with believing it is our “best” that will bring people to know Christ.  Jesus said, “No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him, and I will raise him up on the last day.  It is written in the Prophets; And they will all be taught by God.“

It doesn’t matter what I say or how cleverly I phrased it.  It doesn’t matter how lovely the arrangements are. It doesn’t matter how good the acting and singing are or how cool the sets and lights and graphics. If anyone comes to Christ during this program, it is because he or she was drawn and taught by God. And truly, this is a profoundly liberating thought.  The results do not depend on us.  We are free by grace to simply offer back our gifts to Him for His use.  We bring our best, not because everything depends on us, but because nothing depends on us. In Him we live and move and have our being. In Him we have forgiveness of sins, even musical ones. ;)  We bow down and worship and joyfully give of our treasures out of adoration and gratitude to the one on who ALL depends.

Psalm 95:1-3 Come, let us shout joyfully to the Lord, shout triumphantly to the rock of our salvation! Let us enter His presence with thanksgiving; let us shout triumphantly to Him in song. For the Lord is a great God, a great King above all gods.

We bring our best as the wise men brought their treasure. Not because He needs our gifts, but because He alone is worthy of them. Because we love Him and we want to give to Him out of joy and thankfulness.

God hung the stars. God breathed the Scriptures. God made man and God made music. Truly, we aren’t responsible for the start of this program – and we aren’t responsible for the results.  Let us come into His presence with thanksgiving in our hearts and give Him praise.

I'm not okay. You're not okay.

So there’s this article mentioned on facebook this morning.  Other than the whole sexuality thing – which I am not getting into – the phrase which naturally catches one’s attention is “Judge Like Jesus”.  This was, I do believe, considered Biblically inaccurate, offensive, and generally not nice.

Well. I don’t want to judge like Jesus. Nor do I think I’m called to.  I want to judge BY Jesus.

Matthew 5:17-20 "Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. ¹⁸For truly, I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not an iota, not a dot, will pass from the Law until all is accomplished. ¹⁹ Therefore whoever relaxes one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever does them and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. ²⁰For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”

Jesus said that.  He said that if I break the least of the words of Scripture…if I teach others to do the same… if I’m not as good as the best rule-keeper ever…then I’m not measuring up.  Jesus wants me to be like Him. And Jesus is infinitely perfect.  Completely and totally without sin.  He is God- all-knowing, all-loving, ALMIGHTY God in the flesh, infinite and incomprehensible and awesome. 

He is like 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 raised to the power of infinity.

And me?  I’m like a .421. (and that’s on a REALLY good day)

.421 over that number up there?  Less than doodleysquat.  And I don’t care what number you are. Compared to Jesus, you’re not much either.  Maybe Mother Teresa was a 10, maybe Hitler was a .000000002.  Put those numbers over the Jesus number and you still get bubkis.

Judging by Jesus,  I am a Sinner.  So are you.  Which particular sins we each specialize in?  That’s completely irrelevant.  Trying to figure out which one is worse? That’s a stupid waste of time. 

Judging by Jesus, we are all condemned.

Jesus knew that. He came to do something about it. He didn’t just come and tell us how to play nice and share with others.  If that was all that was needed, He wouldn’t have had to die. He could have just floated down, made some speeches, and floated right back up to Heaven again.*  He walked among us – God Almighty in human flesh – to be crucified in blood-soaked agony to pay the debt each one us owes for our sins.  He paid my debt. He took His number (see above) and applied it to my .421!!  When I judge by Jesus – and then come to the mind-blowingly jubilant realization that I will be judged by what HE did instead of what I do – all I can be is prostrate with gratitude. And there is absolutely no room left for me to look at you…or you….or “them” and try to say that “they” are somehow worse than me.  

That’s what judging BY Jesus means. 

Romans 3:10b -25

"None is righteous, no, not one;
no one understands;
no one seeks for God.
All have turned aside; together they have become worthless;
no one does good,
not even one."
"Their throat is an open grave;
they use their tongues to deceive."
"The venom of asps is under their lips."
 "Their mouth is full of curses and bitterness."
 "Their feet are swift to shed blood;
in their paths are ruin and misery,
and the way of peace they have not known."
 "There is no fear of God before their eyes."

Now we know that whatever the law says it speaks to those who are under the law, so that every mouth may be stopped, and the whole world may be held accountable to God. For by works of the law no human being will be justified in his sight, since through the law comes knowledge of sin.

But now the righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law, although the Law and the Prophets bear witness to it - the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe. For there is no distinction: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by His blood, to be received by faith.

*hat tip to Dr Carl Broggi whose voice sounds in my head anytime I say or write this point ;)

Set Apart

Psalm 139:14 has been popping up all over the place this week.  Friday was my son's birthday and also the day he started his 2nd grade curriculum.  And lo, that verse was prominent in several of his subjects.  Perfect for a birthday!  Those words (and others from that Psalm) came pouring out of my mouth as encouragement to a struggling friend that same night. Sunday night it was used in the children's department at church, and today, my husband's birthday, it appeared in my daily devotional time.

I guess I oughta pay attention, eh?

Psalm 139:14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

Plenty of good and true applications for this verse.  Appreciation for the marvelous intricacies of the human body. Gratitude and amazement for the works God has done in creating us and leading us to where we are today.  There's even a dose of self-affirmation in there...sometimes it takes a leap of faith for a woman to look at her body and say it's wonderfully made. ;) 

But I happened to glance down at my Bible's footnotes this morning and I saw something I hadn't noticed before.  An alternate wording for the first half of the verse which reads:

I praise you, for I am fearfully set apart.

Fearfully set apart.  I am set apart.  When God made me, He set apart a discrete and limited consciousness inside a boundary of skin.  And there's very little I can do about that. Vulcan mind-melding is not on the horizon anytime soon.  And despite groupthink rumors, there has yet to be a Borg. I am set apart inside my own mind, and yes, sometimes it is quite fearful. 

Proverbs 14:10 The heart knows its own bitterness, and no stranger shares its joy.

No matter how close we get to another person, no matter how intimate the relationship, there will always be depths within that are unknown. There will always be misunderstandings, secrets, or just passing thoughts that you never get around to sharing. Each one of us, whether married or single or parent or child or friend, ultimately walks through this world alone.  It sounds a bit depressing, but I think it's good to acknowledge the reality.  My husband loves me, but he can't get inside my head. (and he once told me adamantly that he doesn't want to! My mind frightens him! ;-D )  I can't get in his, either.  I used to expect marriage to make me feel like I was never alone, and I was VERY frustrated and disappointed that it wasn't working out that way.  Now I know it's part of the human condition.  I am fearfully set apart.

Why? Why would God make me this way?  Why set me apart in my own mind - my soul like a hamster caught in the wheel of my frantically spinning thoughts and emotions? (and occasionally suffering delusions that I am "Fully. Awesome!" )  Well, actually, He didn't.  He didn't design humans to be lonely - He designed us to be in relationship with Him. We were made fearfully set apart for Him - and we blew it through sin. 

So another fearful setting apart occurred.  Jesus was fearfully and wonderfully made in human flesh, knit together in His mother's womb, just like I was. Then He was fearfully set apart - fearfully torn apart- on the Cross.  And when God the Father turned His face away from Jesus as He bore all my sins, He was set apart in a loneliness infinitely more agonizing than any isolated human will ever feel. He was set apart...so that in Him I could be set apart.*

Ephesians 2:4-10 But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, ⁵even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ— by grace you have been saved— ⁶and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, ⁷so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. ⁸For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, ⁹ not a result of works, so that no one may boast. ¹⁰For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

Through Christ I have been fearfully set apart, through no merit of my own, to be God's.  God made me in my mother's womb and set me apart in a five-foot-two frame of feminity to be Jennifer.  Then He fearfully, wonderfully, and incomprehensibly set me apart again in Christ to be His own child and gave me work to do. And in the contemplation of that stunning truth, I can truly say:

Wonderful are His works! My soul knows it very well!

*note: I don't, of course, think Christ's life, death, and resurrection were only for me, though my sin alone was enough to nail Him to the cross.

Let them eat cake.

We are engaging in elaborate rituals of worship today.  The celebration actually began last night, as I softly sang words of love and appreciation and tearfully pondered all the blessings and changes that have taken place in my life through his presence.  Then the morning began with joyous words of grateful greeting and praise to the one who is so special, today and every day.  We will be eating traditional foods this afternoon, and offering gifts to show our devotion. And because we are overflowing with joy, we are inviting all our neighbors to join us in adoring him.

It's my youngest son's 8th birthday....oh worship the Josh. ;)

Don't freak out on me now. We aren't being blasphemous.  But I was thinking this morning about how the act of worship can seem strange and confusing to non-believers - and perhaps to many believers as well.  And I realized that a birthday celebration is one beautiful picture of what worship is.  We are celebrating Joshua today.  And like most parents, I am a little more focused today, a little more aware of how special he is.  I am taking the time to think about the day he was born and the unique aspects of this sunny funny boy that have made our family who we are today.  He has the best laugh in the house, for example. Infectious is the absolute best word for it...and indefatigable too. He laughs at everything.  He is full of motion and sunshine and he can't keep his hands to himself.  He has the weirdest leopard-spotted blond hair...people think I dyed it - I didn't. And He is a fearful and wonderful turbo-powered amalgamation of love and mischief-  simultaneously the most tender and the most trouble-making of my four boys. I adore him. I can't snuggle him enough. And I can't tell you what it means to me that at a sturdy eight years old, he will still fall asleep in my arms.  I'm so profoundly thankful that I'm his mom.   And look at that...  it's worship. 

Worship is focusing on the unique value of the worshipped. Worship is celebrating and rejoicing and being grateful for all the greatness of the worshipped.  Worship can take place in song, in thought, in snuggle-time, in conversation, in food, and in the gathering of others.  A birthday is a worship celebration of the special day of the birthday boy! Joshua is special today.  (okay, he's special every day but you know what I mean)  So really...when you think about it, worship isn't so strange or alien after all. We all do it - whether it's a birthday of a friend or loved one, a football game or concert, or even extolling the excellencies of the latest hit movie. 

Christians are to worship God above all else.  And if we focus on Him, even for only a few moments, it's not hard to see why.  If I can get excited today over celebrating one sweet little boy, how much more can I get excited about celebrating an infinite, Almighty God?  His unique value is without limit, and His special qualities defy comprehension. Every single day is new with Him! Every day He blesses His children with a new dawn, new mercies, and new wonders in Him to discover... It's like every day is a birthday! Celebrate!!

Psalm 108:1-4

My heart is steadfast, O God!

I will sing and make melody with all my being!

Awake, O harp and lyre!

I will awake the dawn!

I will give thanks to you, O Lord, among the peoples;

I will sing praises to you among the nations,

For your steadfast love is great above the heavens;

your faithfulness reaches to the clouds.

The Peace Plan

I do not like Planners.  The little notebook thingys, I mean, not the people.  I love BUYING planners, because I enjoy the brief moment of "I will finally manage my time well" optimism, not to mention the visceral delight of spending time in office supply stores. But I hate them because of their blank stares of accusation...all those unfilled days that testify how I repeatedly used them for only a few weeks and then left them forlorn and forgotten under the end table. 

But I do like plans. I like strategies. And I really like successful endeavors.  It's fun to be a part of something bigger than myself, that comes together for a goal....and then achieves it.  And I loathe, hate, and despise going to bed at night realizing that, through my free-floating impulse-driven "I'll do whatever seems good in the moment" habits, I wasted yet another day. 

Successful organisms require structure.  It's a truth played out in nature everywhere you look. The more complex and capable the creature, the more sophisticated the structures within.  The structures within a skyscraper are far more numerous and complex than the structures in a lean-to.  It's a simple but annoying truth...if you want to do something BIG, something important, you need a plan. And this is especially true if you want to build or achieve something that goes against the prevailing order.

Example.  Back in 2007 I set about the big goal of, well, becoming small. I weighed over 200 pounds and being only 5'2" in height was structurally unsound. ;)  Over a period of ten months, I lost 77 pounds (and trimmed a few more after that) and have kept it off for 4 and a half years to date.  This did not happen by wishful thinking or accident.  I had a plan.  Actually, I had several plans. I had the overall plan of the South Beach Diet. (and I still basically follow that plan today)  But I had day-by-day plans as well to keep me on track.  One of the most important tips I found for success, actually, was the daily strategizing to deal with a world that was adamantly not on my side in this struggle. Everywhere you go, you see unhealthy food.  It looks yummy. It smells yummy.  It is quick to grab and quick to eat. Advertisements keep it always before your eyes...and almost all social and work-related activities drag you into its tempting presence.  If you do not have a plan to deal with this avalanche of anti-diet assault, you will fail.

This little fragment of Scripture caught my eye yesterday:

Proverbs 12:20b ...those who plan peace have joy 

Plan peace.  Not just daydream about peace. Not just vaguely go through my day and hope I find a little nugget of peace somewhere like a dropped dollar bill.  PLAN Peace.   Peace is a big, big thing.  It's not a simple structure or easily established - and we live in a world that pulls violently against peace - be it mental/emotional, relational, familial, national, or international, every moment of every day. (spend some time with reality television if you don't believe me) Peace on any level defies accidental achievement.  So...  How do I plan peace? 

First and foremost, I must spend time with the Prince of Peace - seeking Him through Scripture and prayer, and resting in His providence to see me through the day.  Then, much like planning for a healthy diet involved looking ahead to where I was going to be in my day and making advance strategies for my food (carrying healthy snacks, preplanning what to order in a restaurant), a plan for peace involves analysis of the day before me. Where am I liable to be? What temptations or possibilities for unrest lie before me? I can mentally run through them and decide ahead of time how I will react, through the strengthening of the Spirit, to promote peace  - both for myself and others. Do I know my sons and I are overtired? (like today!) Then I plan my day in wisdom to not overburden our tempers.  Do I have a conflict ahead of me - like a disputed transaction or a difficult social situation?  Then I ponder it ahead of time and prayerfully plan my responses in accordance with God's will.  Of course I can't plan for every circumstance...but consciously surveying the horizon and deliberately deciding to submit myself for the Lord's sake to whatever comes my way will go a long way to bringing peace within and without.

How are you planning for peace today?

It's all about me. It's not about me.

"Accept every humiliation, look upon every fellow man who tried or vexes you, as a means of grace to humble you" ~Andrew Murray

Every humiliation?  Seriously?  SERIOUSLY?!

Seems downright unAmerican, doesn't it?  We don't even like it when someone manages to squeak past us in the line at the deli counter! Hey! See this number in my hand? I was here first!  And here it is suggested that I accept it....nay, even welcome it "as a means of grace to humble me".  Because of course I want to be humbled, right? 

Yes. I do.  I want to be humbled.

Except when I don't.

So I am to accept every humiliation, every vexation, every annoyance or public embarassment from my children, every rude salesperson, every insult on the internet, every interruption of plans (who am I kidding - I don't plan), every news story that sets my blood pressure skyrocketing, every disappointment from a friend....as a gift from God to humble me. It's all about me and my need to be brought down.  Which makes sense, honestly.  If my concern when my children misbehave is my image, then I'm parenting from pride.  If I am annoyed or insulted by someone's treatment of me, then I am pridefully believing that I deserve better.  If I let the news dictate my temper, I am  doubting that God is in control or running things properly...which is pride.  After all, do I think it would be better if I were in charge? (be afraid, be very afraid)  Every reaction in me that is not overflowing with love, forgiveness, and thankful trust in the glorious perfection of my Father, is tainted somehow with pride...so I can accept with gratitude anything that shows me where the hydra of pride has stashed a head fit for the Sword. After all, "Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I keep your word." Bring on the afflictions, Lord... It's all about me.

But no....it's not. It's not about me at all.

2 Corinthians 1:3-6  Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,  who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer.

emphasis mine

So...my afflictions...are for you?  And if I am comforted, it is for you?  How's that? 

The obvious explanation is right there in the text.  We are comforted in our sufferings so we can then comfort others.  Our sufferings and subsequent education in the grace and love of God train us up to minister to others.  But there's more.  If I accept my trials as needed grace to humble me...if I decrease...if I truly learn to be like Christ and accept my sufferings in patience and humility so that I can serve you, so that your needs are more important than mine, so that the needs of the person offending me are more important than mine....  This is what humility truly is.  I must decrease that Christ must increase.  I must decrease that you may increase. Slowly, painfully letting go of myself to be like Christ and build up others...

  It is unAmerican.  More than that, it's inhuman.  I can't do it.  Every fiber of me revolts at accepting insult and inconvenience, suffering and shame.  I must trust the One who already did it to perfection to do it in me and through me.  Even so come Lord Jesus.

Philippians 2:3-11 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. For this reason also, God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus EVERY KNEE WILL BOW, of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Ah Sweet Irony

I'm trying too hard.

I used to be a blogger, y'see. Years ago, I posted daily. I had a decent following. Won an award or two.  I was linked on Thinklings!  I think I even got mentioned by Challies once.  But that was a LONG time ago.  I barely remember that girl, honestly. 

I had a few feeble flutters at blogging since then. One was during my prodigal phase.  Self-indulgent ooh-I'm-an-artist blatherings...it's mercifully gone now. (as is that phase, by the grace of God)  Tried another one and it was like a pair of boots that didn't quite fit..I clumped around in it for a step or two and it was abandoned.

I was still writing. Lots of journaling. Cantata scripts. Song lyrics. I'm even sketching out something of a theology book and I really think that this time I might actually finish what I start...  But my online sharing has been limited to twitter tweets and facebook flippancies for years now and I wondered if  perhaps it was time to begin again.  And then I've been hanging around this excellent blog..and commenting..and then it was suggested that I really ought to be blogging myself....  So I finally selected a title and sat down yesterday to write my first post.

And I tried again.

And again.

And this morning I thought and thought and selected TWO ideas for my first two posts.

And I tried again....

Somehow that fine art of writing coherent and insightful posts that don't exceed the attention span of the average online reader has escaped me!  (well...let's be honest, I never was that good at writing short posts) 

But after hours of writing and editing and agonizing and self-questioning (do I still GOT it??) I had to laugh.  Look at my title.  Look at it right now.  "Out of SUPERBIA"    Superbia, as you may know, is the neighborhood of PRIDE.  I have been trying and trying to move OUT of that neighborhood.  I have been begging God to humble me. I've been playing spiritual whack-a-mole with my mind & soul, trying to kill this deadly beast whenever it raises its shape-shifting head.  And I. Am. Losing.

Pride is what has kept me agonizing over my first blogpost for days. Pride says "It must be awesome." Pride demands "You must garner comments and praise and trackbacks or you have failed"  Pride whispers "If you don't hit out of the park with your wisdom, wit, and lyrical language every time then you can't call yourself a writer".    I am so sick of pride.  I want out of superbia.  I want to be set free.  And only Jesus Christ can do it.  No brilliant blog post, no self-flagellation, no well-breathed prayer or impassioned Scripture memorization can do it.  Only Christ.  Until He kills it for me, I can only keep whacking.  And in this case, that means posting something I consider less than my best.  It's not brilliant. It's not beautiful.   It's not anywhere near the most insightful thing I've ever written.  But at least I'm struggling to put my pride on the chopping block by hitting "Publish Post" 

"Let us, at the very commencement of our meditations, admit that there is nothing so natural to man, nothing so insidious and hidden from our sight, nothing so difficult or dangerous, as pride." ~Andrew Murray