It's all about me. It's not about me.

"Accept every humiliation, look upon every fellow man who tried or vexes you, as a means of grace to humble you" ~Andrew Murray

Every humiliation?  Seriously?  SERIOUSLY?!

Seems downright unAmerican, doesn't it?  We don't even like it when someone manages to squeak past us in the line at the deli counter! Hey! See this number in my hand? I was here first!  And here it is suggested that I accept it....nay, even welcome it "as a means of grace to humble me".  Because of course I want to be humbled, right? 

Yes. I do.  I want to be humbled.

Except when I don't.

So I am to accept every humiliation, every vexation, every annoyance or public embarassment from my children, every rude salesperson, every insult on the internet, every interruption of plans (who am I kidding - I don't plan), every news story that sets my blood pressure skyrocketing, every disappointment from a friend....as a gift from God to humble me. It's all about me and my need to be brought down.  Which makes sense, honestly.  If my concern when my children misbehave is my image, then I'm parenting from pride.  If I am annoyed or insulted by someone's treatment of me, then I am pridefully believing that I deserve better.  If I let the news dictate my temper, I am  doubting that God is in control or running things properly...which is pride.  After all, do I think it would be better if I were in charge? (be afraid, be very afraid)  Every reaction in me that is not overflowing with love, forgiveness, and thankful trust in the glorious perfection of my Father, is tainted somehow with pride...so I can accept with gratitude anything that shows me where the hydra of pride has stashed a head fit for the Sword. After all, "Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I keep your word." Bring on the afflictions, Lord... It's all about me.

But no....it's not. It's not about me at all.

2 Corinthians 1:3-6  Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,  who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer.

emphasis mine

So...my afflictions...are for you?  And if I am comforted, it is for you?  How's that? 

The obvious explanation is right there in the text.  We are comforted in our sufferings so we can then comfort others.  Our sufferings and subsequent education in the grace and love of God train us up to minister to others.  But there's more.  If I accept my trials as needed grace to humble me...if I decrease...if I truly learn to be like Christ and accept my sufferings in patience and humility so that I can serve you, so that your needs are more important than mine, so that the needs of the person offending me are more important than mine....  This is what humility truly is.  I must decrease that Christ must increase.  I must decrease that you may increase. Slowly, painfully letting go of myself to be like Christ and build up others...

  It is unAmerican.  More than that, it's inhuman.  I can't do it.  Every fiber of me revolts at accepting insult and inconvenience, suffering and shame.  I must trust the One who already did it to perfection to do it in me and through me.  Even so come Lord Jesus.

Philippians 2:3-11 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. For this reason also, God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus EVERY KNEE WILL BOW, of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.